Let's talk about Milk

Oh my Jesus, I learned something pretty crazy yesterday.  (p.s. I don't consider that using Jesus' name in vain because I'm not using it in vain.)  So, I was doing a little reading up on breastfeeding, and...{are you ready for this?}  like, ANYONE can do it.  I'm not talking pregnant women, and mothers and grandmothers (duh) I'm talking people who don't even have kids OR who have ever had them. (Or even MEN according to Jill!)  Is that not freaking wild?  Am I the last person in the world to learn this??  All it takes is a little 'stimulation.'  Soooo you can pump a few times a day and BAM you will be a milk-producin' lady.  I find these facts so nuts that I had a full-on discussion with Jill last night to full discuss the process, and the possible negative side effects, because YES I would totally consider doing it just to freaking see if its true.

On the upside, pumping milk COULD make your tatas bigger.  Amen to that!  Also, it burns calories, and pumping milk sounds a whole lot easier and a lot less sweaty than cardio!  Another plus: I hear you can sell your milk on ebay or craigslist.  Do I hear the sound of another on-the-side-business???  (that made no sense.  I mean, what would that 'sound' even sound like??) Hmm... I am challenged.

NOW.. lets discuss the downside.  EVERYONE knows that b-feeding will F up your nips/tatas.  I'd love a set of big boobs, but I do NOT want ugly saggy big boobs with oddly shaped nips.(no offense to those who have 'em).  Let's also talk about leakage.  Sounds kiiiiinda messy.  And also sounds like they'd have to be off limits which wouldn't be much fun. 

Lets face it, the tradeoffs are NOT worth it, AND more importantly everyone would think I was a total freak..you know, for pumping breast milk FOR NO DANG REASON other then to prove the internet wrong.  Who even does that if they don't have a baby??? *DISCLAIMER* the sad drawbacks to breastfeeding would totally go out the window if I did have my own baby.  I'd give up my boob-vanity. 

In other news, I used the word moralty yesterday.  Except it's not a word.  In my mind, it was like using 'morality' but a shorter, better and cooler version.  Great, is cooler a word?  Or should it have been more cool?   I don't know,  I need help.