What to Expect When You're Expecting

Babies. Everywhere.  Friends, family members, clients... YOU NAME IT.  I know, like, a million pregnant ladies right now.  I've decided that I reallllllllly need the famous book What to Expect When You're Expecting.  Am I expecting?  Yes. Well, not like in the next 9 months or anything, but EVENTUALLY. (Not now, I repeat, NOT NOW!)  The reason I need the book is because I have so many people in my life that are either pregnant, getting pregnant, or w/ newborn babies.  No sillies, its not so I can educate them - THAT would be awkward/rude! ... I need it so I can keep up in conversation!!  Lets be honest all you mommies out there - you know that being a parent is like being a part of some secret society/cult that's UBER exclusive.  Non-parents are NOT getting in, ohhhh noooo.  My fave quote is "When you're a mother you'll understand.."  SERIOUSLY?  F that, I'm pretty sure I can comprehend parenthood and all of its implications without being a parent.  (P.S. Once I *AM* a mom, I'll be excited about being a part of the exclusive mommy-club, and Ill be snubbing the non-parents too, yeahhh!) But anyway, back to the book. Yes, I need it. I hate being clueless about all this stuff, and I need to know what's going on!  Plus, since one day in the near future (okay... I said it) I PLAN on starting a family, I also need to know everything I could potentially be getting myself into.  I'm not one for surprises.