My honey is SUCH a goof. We have entirely too much fun together and joke about the worst stuff ever. Some of the ish that comes out of his mouth makes me SMH. (Did I use that right?) And yes, sometimes I like to cross the line too.
The other day I reminded him that our anniversary is coming up, so he should really make reservations at the new restaurant I want to try. He replied with "Seriously? Why do we have to celebrate our anniversary again this year??" He was (half)kidding so I'm going to let that one slide.
Last week we were @ the gym and there was this girl beside me at the gym with freaking GIANT boobs. We were on the treadmills and for some reason this chick (blond, tight clothes, pretty face, barbie looking) was wearing a MEGA low cut top with something other than a sports bra. {maybe NO bra?!} Even *I* was distracted! JIGGLES everywhere! So when we left the gym, I described her and asked Jake if he saw her. He said, "No, did I miss something?" I told him she had a GREAT bod, but then I caught a look a her stomach and it looked like she probably had a baby recently, so maybe her boobs were so 'all over the place' because she was breastfeeding.. He thought for about 3 seconds and then replied, "Well..I like milk." <-- the way he said it had me rolling. WHAT A PERV.
But sometimes I tell him some f'd up shiz too. I had my root canal today and I told Jake afterwards that I dressed extra slutty because I heard the dentist was hot and it's not cheating if you do it while on nitrous. But then I was disappointed because he wasn't hot, so I hope he didn't take advantage of me while I was out. Jake said "Unless he had a big piece, because that would make it okay right?" Touche!
Jake also has...odd taste in women. (I wonder what that says about me... Okay, he has odd taste in women other than me. There.) In all honesty, he doesn't like skanky looking women which is I guess is nice. (It's all class in our household, can't you tell?) The other day he was listening to gangsta gangsta rap in the truck and then next song was Taylor Swift, to which he sang along to. I told him he was the gayest husband ever because he loves Taylor Swift's music. He said he "doesn't like her music, he just wants to see her naked". -- Riiiiight, so listening to her music is going to bring you closer to realizing THAT goal?? Lord.
We also like to talk (kid) very candidly about our best qualities. Jake's all, "yeah, I mean, every girl I meet stares at my crotch.. Even all your friends - they're totally trying to gauge my package." And "I'm such a good singer, you're soooo lucky." We debate over who our friends like more and who has more/top quality friends. I'm all - I have lots of people wanting to be my friend and hang out with me. I'm just REALLY picky so that's why I hang out at home a lot, alone, on Friday nights...writing blog posts. I have impossibly high standards. I'm exclusive. We're soooo competitive but in a super fun way!
Anyway - the INSIDE, now outside, jokes between us don't stop there. I swear Jake and I can't be serious about anything, but that's how we roll. We both love to laugh and keep each other cracking up. Sooo.. the point of this story was....... uhhhh, yeah, I don't even remember. Okay, bye. Please disregard this post. This is what happens when pain killers from my root canal enter my system. Nighty-night!
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